MFDub
08-14-2005, 06:48 AM
For those who don't know, if have the horrid job of working as a security guard at the local baseball park. What this means is that I get to deal with over 35,000 drunk people on a daily basis. And their families. Awesome.
MFDub get Cursed
Now, the ball park has the same general rule of the great majority of ballparks: no re-entry. Once you leave the park, you're gone. You can't come back in. No ticket, no networking and no money (do you know how much I get bribed on a daily basis?) gets you into the park once you've left. We have signs all over the place that say this. We print this rule ON THE FRICKIN' TICKETS! And yet, somehow, people still don't get it.
Anyway, one day I was working at the gates enforcing this rule. It was the end of the game and a lot of people were leaving. I was standing there with my co-worker to make sure that, in the flow of people heading out, no one would try to sneak in. Well, of course, someone tried to sneak in. It was this lady in her mid-thirties. Brown hair, black dress and a nasty expression. So I stop her and give her the trademarked "Can't-get-in-through-here" speech. Her response?
"Well, how do I get through to the other side?"
Geez, I dunno. Now that I think about it, you are the first person who ever had that problem. Yeah, if you want to get to the other side then by George you should get to the other side. Allow me to let you past, there you go. Can I spit shine your shoes while I'm at it?
What I actually said was, "Well, ma'am, there's an alley a block down that's well lit. It runs parallel to the park. Just head down that alley and you'll come out right on the other side, a block away. Quick and easy walk."
My obviously cruel and demanding answer wound up leading to an actually interesting response. The woman gave me a look designed to make small children cry and said "I hope I go down into that alley, get raped and die so I can come back and haunt you." She then stomped off, presumebly to do just that.
I turned to my co-worker and smiled. "Dude! I just got cursed!" I must admit, I was kind of happy. It was the first time anyone placed a curse on me. And now my life has all kinds of excitement. I turn around, whoops! Is that a ghost? No, it's just my reflection. I watch TV and sometimes wonder if she's going to pop out like that girl in The Ring. Seriously, you want to spice up your life, just get cursed! :D
MFDub get Cursed
Now, the ball park has the same general rule of the great majority of ballparks: no re-entry. Once you leave the park, you're gone. You can't come back in. No ticket, no networking and no money (do you know how much I get bribed on a daily basis?) gets you into the park once you've left. We have signs all over the place that say this. We print this rule ON THE FRICKIN' TICKETS! And yet, somehow, people still don't get it.
Anyway, one day I was working at the gates enforcing this rule. It was the end of the game and a lot of people were leaving. I was standing there with my co-worker to make sure that, in the flow of people heading out, no one would try to sneak in. Well, of course, someone tried to sneak in. It was this lady in her mid-thirties. Brown hair, black dress and a nasty expression. So I stop her and give her the trademarked "Can't-get-in-through-here" speech. Her response?
"Well, how do I get through to the other side?"
Geez, I dunno. Now that I think about it, you are the first person who ever had that problem. Yeah, if you want to get to the other side then by George you should get to the other side. Allow me to let you past, there you go. Can I spit shine your shoes while I'm at it?
What I actually said was, "Well, ma'am, there's an alley a block down that's well lit. It runs parallel to the park. Just head down that alley and you'll come out right on the other side, a block away. Quick and easy walk."
My obviously cruel and demanding answer wound up leading to an actually interesting response. The woman gave me a look designed to make small children cry and said "I hope I go down into that alley, get raped and die so I can come back and haunt you." She then stomped off, presumebly to do just that.
I turned to my co-worker and smiled. "Dude! I just got cursed!" I must admit, I was kind of happy. It was the first time anyone placed a curse on me. And now my life has all kinds of excitement. I turn around, whoops! Is that a ghost? No, it's just my reflection. I watch TV and sometimes wonder if she's going to pop out like that girl in The Ring. Seriously, you want to spice up your life, just get cursed! :D