Rant(ish): I can't do this anymore.

[Uh_oh]

My apologies for posting here, don't read if you don't want to, but I just need a place to vent and here seemed as good as any. Cuz on these forums you get the impression that someone is listening/reading and you don't have to annoy anyone in real life. Did that make any sense?

Right now, I feel like I'm just barely hanging on. I'm so fucking scared of the future and the present too and I don't even know what I'm scared of. I can barely keep up at school, I'm getting about four hours of sleep and night and have time for maybe one meal a day (if I'm lucky). I feel like I'm a short circuit and just keep pushing the electricity around faster and faster until I'm going to burn out. Climbing is about the only thing I have now that feels like an off switch for that circuit, but the more I climb the more I need to climb. And that isn't going so well either. I've plateaued and can't climb any harder than I was doing a few weeks ago. In fact, I'm climbing worse and I know everyone has their off days, but my frustration with it just making everything worse. And more, I feel like the conventionality of my life is suffocating me. I'm sorry, but I just can't keep living like this. My days are all the same and repetitive and it's killing me. I can't do the same thing every day, and when I look ahead to the future I see myself just continuing in a cycle of pointless repetitiveness. I keep going because I'm hoping that it will get better, but there's no end in sight and I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS. Just what is the point really? I don't know quite what I'm afraid off, but I think if I keep doing this I'm going to flip out and I don't know if that will mean running away, or dropping out of school, or worse but I can't help it. I'm going fucking insane here and I’m just so fucking scared.

[Collapse]

You should not worry about anything. The future is something that you can't control. A way to solve this type of problem is to focus on something you can change: the present so that the future will unfold itself according to the actions you have today.

And shit guy, life is indeed repetitive. Those who work face the same godawful grind everyday, whether they like it or not. That's life, not always full of rays and sunshine. Just get bent a little. Nothing's easy in this world.

And calm down.


Just a tad hopeful my advice helped because you know, I've been there as well. Uncertainty gives you a lot of worries, but all you can do right now is just tackle with the present.

[yogi]

Maybe try relaxing, veg out etc. Try to enjoy the moment more, cause thats whats happening now and its up to you to enjoy it.

[erbiumfiber]

Umm, ok, I'm not a doctor but it sounds like you have a classic case of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Kind of been there myself, except mine was mixed in with a healthy dose of depression.

Information on GAD

http://www.anxietynetwork.com/gahome.html

I just grabbed the first decent-looking website off the search results. Run the search and you will see plenty of information.

Fortunately, drugs are super, super helpful with GAD. And unlike depression, they start acting right away. Drugs in the benzodiazapine family (valium, xanax, klonopin) really take the edge off and, while they are addictive, are safe when used under physician supervision. Unfortunately, when you just go to see a doctor and discuss these medications, you are sometimes thought to be just seeking a way to abuse them. However, a psychiatrist will clearly be able to see what's wrong and will take you seriously- a lot more seriously than just a regular old general practitioner. A school counselor is not going to cut it either. You should see a professional NOW, one who has prescription abilities. Life can really improve for you, you shouldn't have to live with the misery you are experiencing now.

Cognitive therapy is also helpful in reducing the negative thought patterns that lead to anxiety. But, depending how badly this is affecting your life, a brief pharmacological intervention may be helpful.

Best of luck to you. Please let us know how you're doing.

[NERD]

................two threads about underarchiving in school in just a week? Good God, where's your conselors...

Whoever starts these threads needs to paypal whoever responds in a helpful manner. Myself included.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Xanax is a fucking Godsent. Seriously. Go to your doctor, tell him your concerns, and get some help. You are still in school, you're still young, and your life will get better if you seek help for it. So quickly now, go.

[Pete]

I've been in the same situation and the only thing I can recommend is to take a short break from climbing - when you come back you may wall push through the wall and reach the next level :) I always used to get that way with guitar when it was the only thing keeping me going.

[Trump]

Ok, I can't even figure out if you are in high school, college.... middle school??? It makes a difference! I'm going to assume high school for now. First, just chill. Don't let it stress you out! Think about why you are stressed? Is it because you have no free time or just that your life sucks and you have no social life? Work on fixing those aspects that you don't like. And man, don't take climbing so seriously. You talk about climbing harder and not doing well.... so? You are supposed to enjoy it! When you get part way up the wall just fall back into your senses and relax. Let the feeling that you are hanging onto the wall 20 feet in the air take over and don't worry about whether you can make it to the top of that next harder wall. It is supposed to be stress relief, not another source of stress.

[Jai]

dont spend too much time thinking about the meaning of life, or the point it all. Its a sure way to mental breakdown, because the answers arnt what youd like em to be.

Just get on with it and enjoy what you can. Eat some filthy fatty food. Get blind drunk, get laid, and be terrified of how bad she looks in the morning. Have some fun ;)

[ruaidhri]

It’s true. Living isn’t easy. When you’re a young child everything is done for you. Even school is more of an adventure than a unwelcome task. As you grow older and enter puberty and Middle School your body and your brain begin to change. You become easily distracted and bored with unchanging everyday events. You have new desires that aren’t as easily satisfied as getting an ice cream from your parents. You are constantly warned that if you don’t do well in school you will not get into the best college or you will not get a good job. That’s scary when all you want to do is avoid responsibility and figure out where you are.

The early teens are one of the most trying times of your life. You’re in between child and adult. Society demands that you act more responsibly yet your parents, your school and society itself doesn’t treat you with respect. You have new desires that excite, embarrass and sometimes even scare you. Some people even tell you these desires are sinful and that you should suppress them. You try to hide them, sometimes even from yourself.

School gets more difficult and you aren’t ready to commit the time and effort necessary to get good grades. Instead of trying harder you drop back further trying to ignore the threat to your happiness.

What you often find is that there is no easy solution to lives problems. Living isn’t easy. You are transitioning into adulthood and becoming capable of being a productive member of society. You are learning how to solve problems and deal with all types of events that impact your life. One thing that you’ll learn is that everything is an action. That includes doing nothing because doing nothing has results. When you do nothing you’re deciding to let fate determine your course. Believe me, fate is not a good driver. It’s far better that you take the wheel even if you make a mistake and go down the wrong path at least you don’t end up in the ditch.

This is the second thread with a similar complaint. D_pad has the same problem. The responses in both threads have revealed that OP9 member generally care about each other. They want to offer good advise to help you through these confusing times. The same advise offered to D_Pad also applies to you just as the advise in your thread applies to D_pad.

My best advice is for you to seek help. Your parents or school counselors are a good place to start. Print out your thread and show it to them. Don’t delay because there is no shame is seeking help from others. We all need help from time to time no matter how old or experienced we get. There is one thing for certain, we all care about you and wish you a good future.

[setrict]

Almost everything we do in life is optional, even though it may not seem so when you're actually doing it. We all get so busy, everything seems important - when in reality there are very few things that really matter. My suggestion is to take a step back from everything when you can for a few days or a week, and just get in the car and go. Don't have a plan (well, maybe some cash), just go.

Get some distance from life for a while, until you are you again. Then come back and clean house. Decide what you want to keep in life, and toss the rest. If your life sucks already, what do you have to lose? :D

If that doesn't work, I'd get some real help from somone like a counselor who can give you an unbiased perspective - sometimes you just can't do everything yourself, no matter how much you want to.

I mentioned this in another thread. L-Theanine. You can get it in the vitamin section. This stuff worked wonders for me.

[NERD]

Get away from the city, when everything is moving at breakneck speed, people getting caught up in the whirlwind, and spend few weeks/months in some rural area, spending more time with yourself. Either you'll be bored out of your mind and know what you want to do when you come back, or just be able to take things one at a time and take it easy.

Helping others, like volunteer work, helps you while it helps others. You realize you are capable of doing more than you thought, and helping others in need in general is always a good thing.

[more cheerios]

You have many years in front of you, I really hope you start to feel better. Just wait, I'm sure something excellent will pop up in your future. You're stuck in a rut, we've all been there, I totally can sympathize with you. But you what you have to realize that it is simply that: a rut. Life will get better, you just have to keep it up and work your way there. I promise, things will look up for you, just keep trying. :*

[God Hates You]

Drugs are great.... Fuck those Anti Depressents.
Try... Weed. I mean a DEA judge did say it is the safest drug known to man.
Only down side is you have to smoke it.. and smoking it is bad...
Then again you can make a vaporizer.

Oh yeah.... if you do want to kill yourself or something...
Don't fail. I mean, it would be like failing at failing...
Forget the wrist cutting....skip to the rat poison instead.

[more cheerios]

Wow! Aren't you a beacon of light and hope to those in need? \:|

Note, sarcasm.

[NERD]

Wow! Aren't you a beacon of light and hope to those in need? \:|

Note, sarcasm.

Everyone who joins a internet messageboard should at least speak a few lines of sarcasm. The 1337 amongst us are quite fluent that they can translate sarcasms for the unsuspecting, and speak it without thinking. Side effects may be being snide to loved ones, which includes your pets and your five-fingered friend.

[more cheerios]

Everyone who joins a internet messageboard should at least speak a few lines of sarcasm. The 1337 amongst us are quite fluent that they can translate sarcasms for the unsuspecting, and speak it without thinking. Side effects may be being snide to loved ones, which includes your pets and your five-fingered friend.
I lost my pet fish to sarcasm, my seven year veteran-ship of BBS' helped me none. ):

Another note, 1'/\/\ 133732 7[]-[]4/\/ 7[]-[]0|_|. 84[]-[]4[]-[]4[]-[]4!

[NERD]

Sorry. I wouldn't consider any of your so-called 1337 speech unless you were to start speaking in binary codes. Do you see the 'Matrix?' Yes, I can!

[more cheerios]

100101010010101010111010101010

Take that, mister man!

[NERD]

100101010010101010111010101010

Take that, mister man!


Sorry. That binary code is not divisible by 8, therefore not the proper code to translate into English.

01101110001100000011000001100010.

[bloop]

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Ranting is sometimes very helpful and therapeutic.... it's very normal to have a spur-of-the-moment, I-hate-my-life rant out of frustration. Most people will have those feelings at some point in their lives. Luckily, for many people, these feelings will pass.

If this is how you feel about yourself most of the time and you've felt this way for more a couple of weeks or more, you need to talk to a doctor.

Obviously, an Internet message board is not the place for medical advice, but in case your post is representative of how you feel most of the time, this is for you to think about:
If you are truly have an anxiety disorder or major or minor depression, there are both pharmacological and cognitive therapies that can help. Drugs aren't always the answer, but your doctor can determine if you do indeed have these illnesses and can help you decide whether you need treatment. This is something that needs to be done in real life.
Unfortunately, not all primary care docs are not well-trained in psychiatry, and I hope that yours can help. We do not have a clear understanding of why some mental illnesses occur, but it's not your fault for feeling that way, and no one should ever make you feel that it is.

Lastly, if you have ANY thoughts about hurting yourself or you start thinking life is not worth living, please talk to a healthcare professional now. A doctor, a nurse, even a school counselor. All of these people, if they are well-trained, should be able to help you get the help you need.

[more cheerios]

Sorry. That binary code is not divisible by 8, therefore not the proper code to translate into English.

01101110001100000011000001100010.
There are two types of people in the world: those who know binary and those who don't.

I am happily one of those who don't. : grin :

[nice gaijin]

If you like to climb I highly recommend slack-lining and yoga. Both are great for balance, both physically and mentally.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Way to screw up the joke cheerios.

It's There are 10 types of people in this world -- those who know binary, and those who don't

Ugh.

If you are feeling suicidal, GO TO A DOCTOR! As many internet remedies as you may find to feeling overwhelmed and potentially wanting to escape a crappy situation, the best thing is to seek professional help. We don't know you, and can't know how you feel or if your behaviour has changed or if you're a risk to yourself. So the safest thing we can advise, and the best thing you can do, is to get advice from a medical professional.

Depression and/or anxiety are things we all deal with to some extent, but there is a point at which the amount you experience is no longer within the range of the 'normal' bounds of the human experience, and may be indicative of a bigger problem. And that's what you want to see a doctor to find out, because they CAN help you through it with a variety of treatments, and make your life infinitely better if you're willing to follow their advice and take what they say seriously.

[keitaidensha]

anxiety

do something interesting.

do something new. break your own routines.

why are you only getting four hours of sleep? is it something beyond your immediate control like insomnia? is it something within your power to change like spending too much time on forums or other idle activities?

if your life feels too normal, make something else of it.

it's not like anyone reads advice anyway.

[Uh_oh]

Thanks for the advice people. I would just like to say that this was mostly spur-of-the-moment, some of this is how I feel everyday but it was exadurated here. I was sick, injured (and therefore unable to climb) and had had a bad day. But it does help to know people accutally read this and care enough to respond... thanks a lot... you guys helped more than you know.

Just got home... now I'm going to go to bed... have to be up at 4:30 tommorow... (note: this is acctually my normal wake-up time)... thanks again.

[more cheerios]

You didn't get my pun/reference/side joke. : weep :

[Idlethought]

Kid theres so much more shit out there past high school all that anxiety and grief you feel now wont even matter. You think you have it bad lol Try growin up in haiti

[Jai]

meh in 10 years he will look back and think holy shit i wish i was still at school ;)

[Trump]

I never... EVER want to do homework again or I'd be back going for some other degree

[Uh_oh]

Try growin up in haiti

What's wrong with Haiti? It sounds like a good place to grow up. Japan, on the other hand... nah I'm just kidding, this place is fine.

[God Hates You]

Yes that was sarcasm.

Anyways on a more serious note... Usually people who want to off themselves but don't and live pass it... Are happy that they didn't, because life does get better. And usually this things are just something that happens from time to time.

So calm down and hands off the fucking knife.

[more cheerios]

What's wrong with Haiti? It sounds like a good place to grow up. Japan, on the other hand... nah I'm just kidding, this place is fine.
See?!
This is why I hate the media!
Graaaah!

I highly suggest you take your bum over to a news and media website and read what has recently been going on in Haiti.

[Uh_oh]

See?!
This is why I hate the media!
Graaaah!

I highly suggest you take your bum over to a news and media website and read what has recently been going on in Haiti.

Open mouth, insert foot.

My apologies

I really should pay more attention to what is going on in the world...