This Just In!

[Beowulf]

Tom Cruise Is Fucking Bonkers. (http://gawker.com/5002269/the-cruise-indoctrination-video-scientology-tried-to-suppress)
Watch it while you still can, Scientology has been suppressing this all over the web. It looks like it was taken directly from some sort of promotional (possibly secret) video, really it is both scary and amazing.

[Citizen]

Tom Cruise being an insane dipshit isn't this just in. We've known.

I really wish America treated scientology as a business and not a religion, like much of Europe does. Or, better yet, as a dangerous cult whose activities need to be monitored and regulated, like Germany does.

[Everdarke]

Or even better, they should be treated as people with severe mental disease and they should be locked in the nearest mental health facilities.

[stsparky]

We should lock up all the Scientologists? I wish I agreed, We should shame the celebrity followers for being the "cheese" in the trap of this foul organization - and make them fund rehab for the poor mice. I would rather we rehab the non-celeb followers and put the leadership on trial for murder and then to hard labor with no hope of parole. Then we should go after cults that spread hate.

But Tommy is their "Jesus." Something special is called for.

[Kusoyaro]

judging someone for their religious beliefs is uncalled for. believing in Xenu is just as laughably improbable as most other religious beliefs, and since we don't make fun of other religious opinions, what makes it ok to make fun of this? Sure, the entire concept of Scientology is money, and as insane as shit, but that hardly merits taking the micky out of it. Plus, we never know, they could all be right, lol.
So I say stfu and let him be happy they cured his dyslexia.
Also, this;
http://aycu15.webshots.com/image/38534/2002097246493917901_fs.jpg

[Swede]

All religions are at least a little crazy if you stop and think about them. But Scientology is full blown write-on-the-wall-with-feces crazy.

[Citizen]

I don't typically make fun of religions, just business cults that file as religions to cover their asses.

[Duke Luke of Juke]

I typically make fun of religions.

[Swede]

A cult is the same thing as a religion, its just not as large or stable and hasn't gotten mainstream acceptance yet

[Shuft]

...we don't make fun of other religious opinions...
This is kind of how I feel. Is it any worse than transubstantiation? It is as crazy as going to war because god told you to?

In most situations I stay politely quiet (my extended family is very religious). It is kind of fun to see how people react to a new religion that has devout followers.

[Beowulf]

This is kind of how I feel. Is it any worse than transubstantiation? It is as crazy as going to war because god told you to?

In most situations I stay politely quiet (my extended family is very religious). It is kind of fun to see how people react to a new religion that has devout followers.
Since both of those things are crazy, yes.

I make fun of Scientology because of the words of it's founder:
"Writing books at a penny a word is no way to get rich, if a man wants riches he'd start his own religion."
~L. Ron Hubbard

And Battlefield Earth sucks.

[Citizen]

Act II

SCENE NINE
A TOKEN OF MY EXTREME

Arriving at L. Ron Hoover's modernistic office/cathedral/ware-house/
condominium complex, Joe is greeted by a pre-recorded message and
a dramatically illuminated image on a wall-sized TV screen...

L. RON HOOVER:
Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology!
The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only!

Don't you be
Tarot-fied
It's just a token of my extreme
Don't you be
Tarot-fied
It's just a token of my extreme
Don't you never try to look behind my eyes
You don't wanna know what they have seen
Don't you never try to look behind my eyes
You don't wanna know what they have seen

JOE: (thinking to himself)
Some people think
That if they go too far
They'll never get back
To where the rest of them are
I might be crazy
But there's one thing I know
You might be surprised
At what you find when ya go!

And thus, having rationalized his expedition to L. Ron's modernistic office/
cathedral/warehouse/condominium complex, Joe seeks The Answer to
his problem...

JOE:
Oh oh oh
Mystical Advisor
What is my problem, tell me
Can you see?

L. RON HOOVER:
Well, you have nothing to fear, my son!
You are a Latent Appliance Fetishist, it appears to me!

JOE:
That all seems very, very strange
I never craved a toaster
Or a color T. V.

L. RON HOOVER:
A Latent Appliance Fetishist
Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself
That sexual gratification can only be achieved
Through the use of MACHINES... Get the picture?

JOE:
Are you telling me
I should come out of the closet now Mr. Ron?

L. RON HOOVER:
No, my son!
You must go into THE CLOSET
And you will have
A lot of fun!
That's where they all live
So if you want an
Appliance to love you
You'll have to go in there
'N' get you one

JOE:
Well... that seems simple enough...

L. RON HOOVER:
Yes, but if you want a really GOOD one,
You'll have to learn a foreign language...

JOE:
German, for instance?

L. RON HOOVER:
That's right...
A lot of really cute ones come from over there!
(Fifty bucks, please)

And a cheerful group of Appliantologists dance into the room wearing
aluminum foil lab smocks, lock arms in a circle around Joe, making
sure he pays in full, all the while singing with L. Ron as he delivers
his final instructions...

L. RON HOOVER:
If you been
Mod-O-fied,
It's an illusion,
an' yer in between
Don't you be
Tarot-fied,
It's just a lot of nothin',
So what can it mean?
If you been
Mod-O-fied,
It's an illusion,
an' yer in between
Don't you be
Tarot-fied,
It's just a lot of nothin',
So what can it mean?

Joe leaves the First Church of Appliantology and sets out to try L. Ron's expensive advice

CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe has just learned to speak German
Now, get this, here's why he did it! He's gonna go to this club on
the other side of town, it's called THE CLOSET...
And they got these Appliances in there that really go for a guy dressed up
like a housewife who can speak German (you know what I mean)... so
Joe's learned how to speak German, he goes in this place and he sees
these little Kitchen Machineries dancing around with each other, and he
sees this one... that looks like it's a cross between an industrial vacuum
cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body...
it's really exciting... and when he sees it, he BURSTS INTO SONG...

Good song.

[Beowulf]

There was also a faction in Fallout 2 called the "Hubologists." One of the quests was to assassinate their leader and their celebrity endorsers.

[Sublime]

All religions are at least a little crazy if you stop and think about them. But Scientology is full blown write-on-the-wall-with-feces crazy.

Wasn't that the 19th century writer who was forced in a mad house but still kept publishing his novels covering everything from soft-core porn to pure snuff and gore shit? I forgot his name... he looked French in that movie - Marquis De Sade that's right. One hundred percent nuts, that guy.

[Beowulf]

Wasn't that the 19th century writer who was forced in a mad house but still kept publishing his novels covering everything from soft-core porn to pure snuff and gore shit? I forgot his name... he looked French in that movie - Marquis De Sade that's right. One hundred percent nuts, that guy.
I can totally see you stopping in the middle of that post to go google "writing with feces"

[Beowulf]

Double post.

Finally found this (http://theunfunnytruth.ytmnd.com/) again. It's a good compilation of questionable Scientology activity. NSFW though due to graphic imagery.

[stsparky]

They do classic brainwashing if you aren't a celebrity; and they're totally batshit crazy idiot want to control everybody smarmy bastards who need to be stopped.

They kill people, they seem to enjoy dicking with people. And they're responsible for messing with Santa Monica's best AMPs because they don't want social misfits enjoying themselves without their control.

I feel the same about most asshole corporate religions.

[Sublime]

I can totally see you stopping in the middle of that post to go google "writing with feces"

Well actually I didn't O_o but now that you mention it....

http://www.google.bg/search?q=writing+with+feces&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

[Beowulf]

Scientology harassing it's critics. (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-126281853779690652)

[Digital Masta]

The funniest thing I find out that whole video with Cruise is that he's talking yet nothing is really coming out of his mouth.