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PopCulturePooka
09-26-2005, 03:32 PM
Russian Sexpots and the Pooka
Back in 2003 I went to Gaspanic, Yokohama with a large group of workmates and other guys. Gaspanic is a large club that plays mainstream hip hop and pop stuff and is famous for being a major foreign guy-japanese girl pickup, having a ‘you must be drinking at all times rule’ and being the place where russian hostesses go after work.

So there we are, drinking away and trying at various degrees of success at doing the ‘pick up’.

Around 1am a group of foreign (non-japanese) girls enter. Varying from very average to this blonde STUNNER in a tight short cat suit that was unzipped, with a bikini underneath. Like every guy in the club must have stopped, looked and popped wood at this girl.

Night goes on and I go looking for one of the guys in my group, this New Yorken. I find him at the bar chatting up a very average older looking russian girl. I stand near him and order my drinks, making the obligitory small talk/wingman stuff. Anyway I get my drink and here a russian accented ‘hello’. I turn around and come face to face with the aforementioned cat suit super stunner. ‘Gwa gwa gwa’ must have been my initial reply, but we get talking.

And talking.

And drinks buying.

She tells me she is a russian teacher in Japan (but I suspect hostess, but also didnt much care, she was YUMMY).

And drinking.

And grinding on the dance floor.

And kissing and groping at a table.

And my friends keep coming up and giving the whole sly handshake well done Pooka thing. Other guys, Japanese and foreign alike are either staring jealously or talking to me.

For a few hours, with this fricking supermodel by my side I am the mo-fuckin’ MAN. Even Craig, my Nova branches ultimate playboy, eventually fired for nailing at LEAST 15 students had some choice congratulatories for me. I ruled Gaspanic that night.

Then she goes to the bathroom. While she’s gone these two aussie dudes wander up and start chatting to me. By this point I’m entering alcohol soaked stupidity warp factor 5. And they begin telling me stupid shit.

‘Dude shes a hostess, she wants money from you.’
‘Dude shes only talking to you because you’re buying her drinks.’
‘Dude get rid of her before she steals your wallet.’
Etc.

Outright crap from two jealous little twats right? Except… I fricking BELIEVE them!
My little russian sex goddess returns and I tell her that I’m going to talk to my friends, and she will have to chat up some other poor schmuk for drinks, because I wasn’t falling for her games anymore.

And thats how the king of Gaspanic came crashing down to earth. For the next few weeks I got nothing but crap from all the guys I went with.

To rub salt in, at the end of the night as I was leaving she came up to me one last time and said ‘Bye Pooka, hope you had a good night’ and blew me a kiss, then wandered of.

PopCulturePooka
09-26-2005, 03:45 PM
A Zesty Grill Chicken and… FUCK!

Another tale of woe.

Since Quiznos opened their branch in the Myer Centre I’ve noticed that there are quite a few hot little numbers working there. Friendly bunch too, always making my sandwich buying experience that extra bit special. One in particular has me going all googly eyed. Cute little Indian or South Asian girl. I’m loathe to write her real name here so lets call her Quiznor, Dark Mistress of the Tempting Sandwich! Short, skinny, cute smile and nice hair. Tastier than the Texas BBQ Steak subs she so lovingly crafts.

Likely not a day over 19 though.

So last weekend I had had a shit of a morning anddecided to satisfy myself with my lunch time favourite, a large Zesty Grill Chicken. Saddle up to the register and loe and behold theres Quiznor, cutely serving another customer. Being fine artists in the medium of Customer Service as well as Delicious Sandwich Crafting, she was chatting to the customer about Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Other customer leaves and I pony up to the register. As she is totalling up soon to be demolished sandwich (on wheat bread) and Vanilla Coke she smiles at me and asks ‘Have you seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory yet?’

To which I reply ‘No I haven’t, but I’d really like too’

Quiznor, Dark Mistress of the Tempting Sandwich smiles even sweeter still and answers back ‘Neither have I, but I want to see it too’ and hands me my change.

Pocketing my change, I have a flash of inspiration and say ‘Thats nice’ then saunter of with my lunch.

Halfway up the elevator to work, the penny drops and I loudly declare these wise words: ‘FUCK’.

Haven’t seen Quiznor since then.

The sandwich however was suitably delicious, even with the bitter aftertaste of disappointment.

PopCulturePooka
09-26-2005, 09:36 PM
Fine.
Poopheads

co_delphi
09-26-2005, 09:58 PM
don't feel bad dude..... I had roughly the same experience you had with Quiznor. I was working at a skating rink while going to college, and got to go on a date with a hot co-worker (probably around 18) to see Blade 2. Date ended and forgot to get her number but figured I'd see her at work, except the next day I found out she was fired.

Azrael
09-27-2005, 05:06 AM
That's the worst man, when you let friends talk you out of a hot score.

Incidentally, the club I went to in Tokyo (the one I mentioned in the editorial) was Gaspanic. I guess either I went on a bad night, or I really suck at the pick up game. I'm getting the latter.

I still kind of kick myself over walking away from the 3 girls in the Skanks R Us editorial. Sure, not going after that was the right decision in every way possible, but the non-logical parts of me (read: penis) are still thinking "WHAT THE FUCK?! That was a FOURSOME with YOU, THE ONLY GUY. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

I also passed up countless opportunities with random girls here and there while I was still dating my ex because I wanted to be faithful to her. ...Hah! Considering how everything turned out, that's a huge regret.

h2orowe
09-27-2005, 05:58 AM
Aww poor Pooka, was left all alone with his trusty hand... :( I know the feeling XO

Entertaining editorials though, keep 'em up Pooks.

PopCulturePooka
09-27-2005, 08:28 AM
That's the worst man, when you let friends talk you out of a hot score.Even worse, the two guys were strangers!!!

Incidentally, the club I went to in Tokyo (the one I mentioned in the editorial) was Gaspanic. I guess either I went on a bad night, or I really suck at the pick up game. I'm getting the latter.Yeah, Roppongi Gaspanic is a MIXED bag of mystery.

Yokohama gaspanic was actually pretty cool. A lot bigger and not quite as sleazy.
Shame it closed.

baslisks
09-28-2005, 07:33 PM
I've done the whole miss the opertunity because I'm as dense as hell thing. Damn women and thier insta stupifier crap things.

Pete
09-28-2005, 07:55 PM
Unlucky Pooka :( At least you won't make the same mistakes again :)

Mushu
09-28-2005, 08:37 PM
ooo pete, lets not go over board now :D

co_delphi
09-29-2005, 12:20 AM
Actually with his luck next time he will go home with the hottie and not miss his chance, then find out it is a guy.

hapacheese
09-29-2005, 01:49 AM
Man, I walked into Gaspanic (Roppongi) when I was taking some gaijin friends on a tour of Japan, and walked right out. The skank-i-tude was off the scale. There was one lady (who was likely a lady of the night) was grinding some guy who had one hand in her shirt and the other down her pants. And the dude was some middle-aged guy with a gut and a combover.

Az, either you went on a bad night, or didn't have enough money ;)