Gaijin Smash, 11/9/07: Prepare For Trouble And Make It Double

[Hatsumomo]

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Maybe guys with a girlfriend can sympathize with me here - ever have one of your girlfriend's friends get married?

Maybe you're thinking about marriage with your girl, maybe not, but its something you want to do on your own time and be ready for. But then along comes this friend who's getting married. Your girlfriend says she's fine with it, and at first she is, but then the date of the wedding gets closer and closer, and by the time she gets to the ceremony she's a crying, emotional mess. That's one thing, but in meeting all the friends she hasn't seen since God knows how long, they all also reveal their wedding plans to her and then ask "What about you? When are you tying the knot?" She makes an excuse, but the Seeds of Destruction have been planted, and before you know it, she's mad at you for seemingly no reason at all. You ask, you pry, you call Miss Cleo for any psychic tips she might have, and finally it comes out that she thinks she's nothing more than a sexual plaything to you because she's the only one among her friends without solid, definite marriage plans.

So yeah, ever have that happen to you? Sucks, don't it? But see, here is concrete, definitive proof that God doesn't just hate me, he hates me with a fiery burning passion - this happened to me two-fold. That's right, my girlfriend had not just one best friend get married, but her two best friends get married within one week of each other.

Ain't that some shit?

Riddle me this for coincidence. My girlfriend has two girls she considers to be best friends, S-san and K-san. Last year around this time, both S-san and K-san emailed her at pretty much the exact same time. I mean, their emails were only minutes apart. Both tell her they have "big news" they want to tell her in person. So the gf goes to see K-san the following week, who says she's getting married. The next week she meets S-san, who is also getting married. Both of these women have been dating their boyfriends for roughly the same amount of time...which also happens to be the same amount of time that me and the gf have been dating. Both S-san and K-san plan their wedding for October, and only about a week apart. The best part is that S-san and K-san have NEVER met each other, their only point in common is being best friends with my girlfriend.

Brilliant.

You know, if this kind of thing were an isolated incident, okay maybe I could chalk it up to coincidence. But the fact that my life is composed of incidents like these strung one after another leads me to believe that somethin' fishy is goin' on Lucy.

I asked her around the time of the engagements if she was okay with her friends getting married and with no plans pending for her. She said she was, and at the time she actually was. Of course, as the weddings approached, she became remarkably less okay. Before I knew it, she was talking about 10 years from now, and how we would best divide up our time living in Japan/America so our kids could become bi-lingual and properly adjusted to both cultures.

...Shit.

Not that I'm opposed to children, no. I would like kids some day. Especially half-Japanese kids, because halflings are always beautiful for some reason. It's like your genes and her genes do a fusion dance and take the best traits of each to make the ultimate human or something. And the ultra-curvyness of the black genes actually combines really well with the super-flatness of the Japanese genes to create very attractive women.

This is actually Az's Get Rich Quick Scheme #23 - produce beautiful little halflings and send them into the Japanese entertainment industry, and live comfortably off my daughter's salary. Hey, it worked for Beyonce's daddy...

Anyway, I would like kids...someday. Not today. I still feel like a kid myself. I look into my living room and I see a PS2, PS3, Sega Dreamcast, and about 7 Transformers action figures lined up next to the TV, and its hard not to feel like a big kid in grown-up clothes. On the other hand though, the Transformers are awesome (will be required reading/watching for whatever offspring I spire) and my kid better hone up his or her Street Fighter skills, or else Dad is going to mop the floor with him/her.

***

I hate to make broad sweeping generalizations, but sometimes it seems like Japanese girls move at LUDICROUS SPEED when it comes to dating and relationships.

Marriage in general seems to be be treated fairly lightly. Like, a couple meet, and after a couple of months if they both don't totally suck ass, then they'll decide to get married. Literally, like "Well, you don't suck ass, so I guess we can get married." Proposals don't seem to be a big thing either. In the case of S-san, she was in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend (S-san lives in Kyoto, boyfriend in Tokyo). They were talking one day about how difficult the distance is, and the boyfriend said something to the effect of "Well, it would be nice if you lived with me...maybe we should get married?" For K-san, she and her boyfriend live together. They went to go renew the contract on their apartment, and the realtor asked if they were engaged.* They lied and said yes at the time, but upon returning home, the boyfriend said something to the effect of "Well, instead of lying about it, why don't we just go ahead and get married then?" I will pause here and allow the ladies to run and get some tissues, what with having witnessed the pinnacle of romantic proposals here, I'm sure there are quite a few wet eyes in the house.

...I think I just used up my sarcasm allowance for this month.

*Realtors will ask this question for any couple who rents an apartment together. If you're just dating, I guess the possibility that you'll break up and end up breaking the lease is a big concern.

Even the L-word gets tossed around quite casually. In a relationship with a certain evil troglobeast from hell, she was throwing around that word after one month into the relationship. ONE MONTH! One month is still, what, the Masturbatory Assistant stage?

She was very clever about her timing/delivery too.

*We're half watching TV, half fooling around*
Her: Mm, that's nice. Ok, go there.
Me: Sure thing!
Her: Oh yeah. I love you sweetheart.
Me: *Metal Gear Solid ! appears over my head* Um...thanks?
Her: And you love me too right?
Me: Um....
Her: ...Right??

See, here's where things become a little complicated. I have two choices here. Lie through my teeth and get to have sex, or be brutally honest and spend the rest of the night in the dog house in my own cramped little apartment. As a young male fresh into the country...well...the choice was clear.

Me: Of course I love you sweetheart. I mean, it's already been a whole month, right?
Her: Of course! Say, how about a BJ? I just thought up this great technique, and I've named it after an oceanic creature...
Me: Sure! I'm sure your new technique won't harm or physically scar me in any way shape or form. I mean, what could go wrong?

The other problem is that the Japanese female biological clock starts ticking around, oh, 25. As I've said repeatedly, Japanese men like their women young. With this disturbing tendency, once a woman hits 30, if she's unmarried...she's kind of screwed. Men her age are too busy porking the 19 year olds (and younger) who don't mind having a sugar daddy. Plus, with chances to meet guys getting fewer and fewer...well, its a thing to be worried about. Get married in your twenties while you're still marketable.

This is, of course, another area where I am in complete opposition to Japanese men. I LOVE older women. Women's sexual drives don't even really get started until they hit their 30's. Men always talk about young girls or whatever, but you get a woman in her 30's who takes care of herself and has that astronomical sex drive - it's like comparing bottle rockets to the mo'fuckin' space shuttle. So, yes fellas, this does mean that there is an entire crop of 30-something Japanese women who are sexually amped up and just not getting it. I have tasted the sweet, sweet nectar from the crop twice, and let me tell you - it is truly awesome.

...*Ahem*. Anyway, yeah, so relationships and marriage can move kinda fast in Japan. Something we Gaijin should take into considering when dipping into the Japanese dating pool. My girlfriend has calmed down a bit from the wedding ceremonies, but I still sense that she's waiting. I don't have to spell out "Honey will you marry me?" on the snow-caps of Mt. Fuji, but I would like my proposal (with any luck, the only one I ever do in my entire life) to be somewhat special. I don't want to be like "Hey, check this out - McDonalds has a special happy meal set for married couples. Well, shall we tie the knot?" Just doesn't feel right.

Ironically, I had decided a while ago that if we were still together and doing well this Christmas, I'd pop the question. There've been a number of issues and what not lately that have made me sort of question/doubt myself regarding that. But who knows? Maybe I'll stick to my plan and propose in...geez...a little over a month.

And don't think I'm ruining the potential surprise by posting about it here. She doesn't speak English. Which is kind of convenient at times...

Guy Friend: Hey Az, wanna tag along tonight?
Me: What's up?
Guy: We're going to hit every Japanese strip club in the country, and go on a wild binge of boozing and dancing with naked Japanese women. You in?
Me: The question isn't whether or not I'm in, but how far to the nearest club, and how much money do I need to bring along?
Girlfriend: (in Japanese) ......? What's going on?
Me: (in Japanese) Oh, nothing much. I'm just gonna go with the guys here to help put out fires in orphanges across the country.
Girlfriend: (in Japanese) Oh wow. Well, do your best!
Me: (in Japanese) It's tough work, but someone's got to do it.

I kid, of course. There's no way we can cover every strip club in the country in one night, I mean, the best we can do is the greater Kansai region before we end up passing out due to exhaustion and alcohol poisoning somewhere on a dirty Osaka city street. ...Purely hypothetically speaking, of course.

But hey, if I do end up getting married soon, I will be looking forward to retiring comfortably off my beautiful little halfling's nice celebrity income. I mean, this is what kids are for, right?


There is a donation button at the original source, but I didn't link it. Good luck Az!

[stsparky]

Being married is fun.

But my wife was way past the Christmas Cake stage.

Anyone have good ideas as to where Az and GF can get their ring?

Will donate tonight.

[Digital Masta]

Crystal Kay is half Korean, not that it really matters, half Korean, half Japanese essentially with the other half not being asian the results are pretty much the same.

Ya know...the comment about the gf talking about raising the kids in both japan and america. How far do you take that? Do the whole summer in one place and the rest of the year in the other?

[Hatsumomo]

^Problem with that is the different school years between Japan and America, unless they find a school that does a more Western-type school calendar.

[Digital Masta]

^Problem with that is the different school years between Japan and America, unless they find a school that does a more Western-type school calendar.

Well the alternative would be to literally do something like this...

elementary school in Japan/middle school in America/high school in Japan/college wherever the kid wants

which would probably be mighty expensive to pull off and mind fuck the child.

Going when the child doesn't have school (regardless of if its America or Japan) makes the school calender irrelevent. Sure the kid won't be likely to make many friends in said country but Grandpa and Grandma and any other relatives that live around the area or not to far from it would sure be happy with having them around.

Actually my supervisor during my whole camp experience brought his kids with him to Japan (his wife is Japanese) and they stayed at his in-laws house for the summer and the older of the two got to attend Japanese school for the short amount of time he was there and the school was all gung ho for it.

[Kyletherealninja]

What might be more effective than having kids go to school on opposite sides of the planet might be to just speak English at home, or invest extra effort into making sure they learn, while they pick up Japanese from mom/everyday life.

[Digital Masta]

What might be more effective than having kids go to school on opposite sides of the planet might be to just speak English at home, or invest extra effort into making sure they learn, while they pick up Japanese from mom or Dad/everyday life.

Fixed

If I were in a situation where I was married to a Japanese woman and living in states and the only time my kids really had the chance to go to Japan was over the summer then I'd like to think that learning it from Mom and probably having them go to some sort of class to would help them out in that part. Hell maybe I'd even be inclined to use Japanese in the house (which would be the exact opposite if I was in Japan)

[SlickWilly440]

Well there are schools in big cities (were a minority population of Japanese live), that have schools on Saturdays where a weeks worth of Japanese learning is crammed in one day. I new a person who did this while he was growing up stateside, and he's pretty much fluent in reading and writing, but no so much in Kanji writing.

So finding one in lets say California probably wouldn't be hard. For example I was watching Jay Leno one night, and that one Japanese dude who plays on Heros was interviewed. He said when he moved to California at a young age, him mom made him go to one of those cram schools, so.......

I however was raised in a small town where no such school existed...SOB.

[Swede]

Well there are schools in big cities (were a minority population of Japanese live), that have schools on Saturdays where a weeks worth of Japanese learning is crammed in one day. I new a person who did this while he was growing up stateside, and he's pretty much fluent in reading and writing, but no so much in Kanji writing.

So finding one in lets say California probably wouldn't be hard. For example I was watching Jay Leno one night, and that one Japanese dude who plays on Heros was interviewed. He said when he moved to California at a young age, him mom made him go to one of those cram schools, so.......

I however was raised in a small town where no such school existed...SOB.

Yeah, they have a Japanese Saturday School at my college for kids from kindergarten to high school. They also started up an "international" class for non-native speakers who want to learn, which is nice for me since they don't actually offer Japanese at the college; I'm planning to transfer to a larger school next year. Right now though, I am able to keep up/ study for the JLPT in an intermediate morning class, and I get experience teaching a small class of my own in the afternoon.

If you were raising a family in the states though, I think something like this could be useful in keeping kids up to speed (at least to an extent) with what they would be learning in Japan. In any case, if I were to raise kids here, I would try to speak exclusively Japanese at home, and let them learn English at school or, ya know, in life.

Other way around if you were to raise them in Japan.

But I'm still way the hell off from that (hopefully), so you probably should just ignore what I say :box:

[Chrome Newfie]

Another post this week? We are truly blessed!

Would one of these weddings be the one for which you recently had pics posted on the Book of Face?

So, yes fellas, this does mean that there is an entire crop of 30-something Japanese women who are sexually amped up and just not getting it. I have tasted the sweet, sweet nectar from the crop twice, and let me tell you - it is truly awesome.

I! MUST! VISIT! JAPAN! :stirthepo:

[Kyletherealninja]

In any case, if I were to raise kids here, I would try to speak exclusively Japanese at home, and let them learn English at school or, ya know, in life.

Other way around if you were to raise them in Japan.

This is pretty much was I (was attempting) to say.

[SlickWilly440]

In any case, if I were to raise kids here, I would try to speak exclusively Japanese at home, and let them learn English at school or, ya know, in life.

Other way around if you were to raise them in Japan.

But I'm still way the hell off from that (hopefully), so you probably should just ignore what I say :box:

I don't know, but wouldn't it be more difficult to exclusively speak English at home if both parents don't speak English, especially if the father is the one who is fluent. I say this because the father might not spend as much time with the children when compared to the mother, because of work.

[Digital Masta]

I don't know, but wouldn't it be more difficult to exclusively speak English at home if both parents don't speak English, especially if the father is the one who is fluent. I say this because the father might not spend as much time with the children when compared to the mother, because of work.

I think the situation presented above works well if the Japanese parent can speak English well. If one parent can't really speak English then the one who does should probably not stick solely to one or the other (assuming they are living in America and thus get English everywhere)

[ZaichikArky]

Aw cool you alerted your readers about it.

I agree Halflings are cute. ESPECIALLY the half black/half asian ones. That "breed" of halfling are very rare. I'm not sure if I've seen a half black/half asian person IRL, just videos. Though I remember rather recently here there was the conversation about taking the children out in public and Japanese people squawking all over the children with the "kawaii haafu" and one person said they'd hate that because kids aren't zoo animals. Come back to the states! heh.

I don't know. I'm not very familiar with japanese marriage. I know that one of my students is getting married in December. She appears to be in her mid-late 30s. My friend's sister got married somewhat recently, and she was also in her mid 30s. I have 2 other married students and I think they married in their mid to early 30s. One of my supervisors is 36. I've never met his gf, but I think she's around the same age. They've been dating for a while and not married. My other supervisor is around 38. I think she's been dating her boyfriend for about 5 years, known him for 10 and they're not married. In my experiences, the only deviant to the late marriage trend I have been seeing is my pregnant student whose husband is a doctor. She's 26 and comments about how I am "so young!!"

I take marriage very seriously. I hope I can married in the next 4 years if me and my current boyfriend can make it that far(we've been together for 4 years now).

[Digital Masta]

I agree Halflings are cute. ESPECIALLY the half black/half asian ones.

Yeaah...'tis true.


Ssshhhh, a little secret...it's because of the black genes. It's as Az said, (as far as girls go)the blackness curves up what would normally be a flat body and with any luck the asian part helps keep it fit but curvy, that and the blackness allows for a nice skin tone...

and I'm totally talking out my ass here.

But ho...another pic of the wonders of black n' asian

(don't mind the text on the pick its from this website that tries to define the various types of butts that women have...apparently this chick has a tear drop shape :P)

http://www.assmatrix.com/goodload/tear2eye.jpg

That "breed" of halfling are very rare. I'm not sure if I've seen a half black/half asian person IRL,

You've never seen a half black/half asian person before IRL? Interesting...then again aren't you from Colorado or something?

And can we please stop calling them halflings. I don't think he was very serious in refering to them that way but it makes them sound like a race of elf or something.

[ZaichikArky]

so what is the preferred vernacular then? hafus? half-bloods(that one sounds worse)? Halfs? Actually, before I even read that thread, I thought of them as "halflings" >_>. It sounds cute to me.

IRL I think I met this guy who could have been half asian/half black, but I wasn't sure. And actually, I am from California of all places 0_o.

[Digital Masta]

so what is the preferred vernacular then? hafus? half-bloods(that one sounds worse)? Halfs? Actually, before I even read that thread, I thought of them as "halflings" >_>. It sounds cute to me.


I dunno, I always thought mixed, bi-racial...hell why not go Chris Tucker and (in terms of black n' japanese) go blackanese

[Azrael]

Ok, as far as the kids go...

Personally, I would let them go to school in Japan up until elementary. The reason being I was a JHS teacher and...no. Just, no. Do not want to subject my kids to JHS in Japan. So the kids would live in Japan up until I dunno, maybe 8-10 years old? They would only speak English at home, but then every other time, of course, would be Japanese.

Then we'd go to America for their JHS/HS schooling. They would only speak Japanese at home, and then of course English everywhere else. During the summer they could go visit their grandmom in Kyoto and stay with her for a month or two. Ideally, we'd have a second home in Japan, but...yeah, I'm having enough problems keeping up with rent on ONE place, so I'm not thinking about two at the moment.

Personally, I would like to see the kid(s) do college in America, I just think American colleges are better and more well-rounded. What he or she does after that would be up to them. Aside from being bilingual, I'd hope to have them educated about both American and Japanese cultures.

The thing I fear the most though is that although the kids will be half-Japanese, they will look 100% Gaijin and probably be treated as such. European/Japanese mixes can sometimes get away with looking 100% Japanese, but Black/Japanese...no. I'm 100% not Japanese, but as someone who's tried very hard to learn the language and culture, its sometimes annoying to have Japanese treat me as someone who is oblivious and ignorant just because of the way I look. I'm not sure how that will affect the kids.

[Digital Masta]

The thing I fear the most though is that although the kids will be half-Japanese, they will look 100% Gaijin and probably be treated as such. European/Japanese mixes can sometimes get away with looking 100% Japanese, but Black/Japanese...no.

Whenever I talk to Japanese people about the idea of living in Japan and if I started I family I always bring up that my kids would look totally gaijin despite being half Japanese and that it may cause issues. One girl I was talking to said that young people think it's cool and I responded with something along the lines of "That may be but it's the institution itself that may make it difficult for them not their friends."

[Azrael]

Another post this week? We are truly blessed!

Would one of these weddings be the one for which you recently had pics posted on the Book of Face?
Three this week. Yeah, I really got my ass in gear for writing this week. I figured if I'm going to grovel, the least I can do is provide something in return.

And yeah, pics of both weddings are up on Facebook.

[Digital Masta]

Didn't even know you did facebook

[sOkU]

Damn, Az is on top of his game.

Edit: Black n' Asian ppl are generally attractive (see: my neice and nephew and me) ;)

...though I don't look very asian. *runs*

[Digital Masta]

Damn, Az is on top of his game.

Edit: Black n' Asian ppl are generally attractive (see: my neice and nephew and me) ;)

...though I don't look very asian. *runs*

Hence the black part of being black n' asian

So if you're black n' asian, that makes your niece and nephew...? I'm assuming your sibling is your full sibling and as such is black n' asian too so the other parent is...?


I'm just curious.

Actually I just remembered my cousins are black n' asian. I haven't seen them since I was like 10 which is why I don't readily recall this. My one cousin had kids with a white guy...that child has an interesting heritage to say the least.

[sOkU]

Hence the black part of being black n' asian

So if you're black n' asian, that makes your niece and nephew...? I'm assuming your sibling is your full sibling and as such is black n' asian too so the other parent is...?


I'm just curious.


Well technically that'd make them 3/4 japanese 1/4 black...but I still call them blasian. The other parent is Japanese.

They really only got a darker skin color and semi-curly hair (only for my neice though, my nephew has straight hair) from the black side.

[ZaichikArky]

Yeah, I can usually tell asian-white kids apart because the skin color is different. Kind of hard to explain. Also, their eyes look a bit different. There were 2 half students in my Japanese class. One looked VERY Japanese(maybe you could possibly tell because her eyes were slightly bigger than normal, but then again some "pure blood" Japanese people have large eyes too) and the other looked not very Japanese. Kinda funny how genes work out.

In Intro to Cultural Anthropology 3 years ago, I remember watching a very interesting film about interracial students. There were a couple black-asian kids, but one girl especially stood out. Her mom was Japanese, her dad black. So apparently the Japanese side of her family disowed her mom and refused to acknowledge the kids. It all seemed pretty fucked up, but this film was obviously not very current. It was at least 10-20 years old. The girl would talk about the trials her mom went through trying to deal with her hair and then the girl would talk about trying to fit in with both black culture as well as western culture. IE- sometimes black people would say really rude exclusive shit to her which made her not want to be a part of that community, but then the western community asked her questions about her heritage, etc.I think times have changed a lot, though.

Az, your plan of action seems really good. it's a great idea to immigrate after the kids are in their later years of elementary school. I immigrated when I was 5 and I never received the background in my mothertongue as well as I should have. I could have had it worse by forgetting the language all together and being unable to speak it, but I still feel TEH ROBBED.

[Digital Masta]

Also, their eyes look a bit different.

Probably bigger and they probably have eyelid folds

They really only got a darker skin color and semi-curly hair (only for my neice though, my nephew has straight hair) from the black side.

So in my mind I'm picturing Japanese kids that tan very well.

[sOkU]

So in my mind I'm picturing Japanese kids that tan very well.

I guess...you be the judge: http://www.outpostnine.com/forum/showpost.php?p=406722&postcount=13244

[rameek]

If she doesnt speak english your children wont speak english. We speak to my son in English he answers in japanese.

My son at 4 years old had perfect teeth before he got to japan. 3 years later ugh! and they suffer from the skin diseases as well ugh!

I personally dont think much of the elementary school systems here compared to the states. I've taught in elementary schools in the states and did alt work here in japan.

My kids hair came out somewhat curly. Not nearly as curly as Soku neice and nephew unfortunately. And damn it they didnt come out dark enough! I have been thinking about registering them with a talent agency for modeling etc...

http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/Jubavan10/Summer%202007/?action=view&current=PIC_0223.jpg

http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/Jubavan10/Summer%202007/?action=view&current=PIC_0273.jpg

[I Monkey]

I think speaking English at home when living in Japan and vice versa is the best too! I've been raised bilingual too(I speak Vietnamese at home and Dutch everywhere else). I've forgotten a lot of words though... most of the time, when I'm speaking Vietnamese, I mix Dutch words into it. :(
Oh and you should definately send your kids to some private lessons. I used to have them too but I stopped at the age of 11. It helped a lot.

yeahh halflings are hot! I know a girl who's half Japanese half Australian. And she's really beautiful!(green eyes, freckles, brown wavey hair)

[japanat]

I can't speak much on the black/Japanese mix, being a creme puff myself, but have you ever seen AjaKong? See end of post


Seriously, though, bi-racial kids in Japan have a mixed lot. Depending on where you live, there may be institutionalized prejudice, but I haven't run across any with my kids. But kids will be kids, and kids can be cruel. Whether it becomes a problem has many factors, including how you react to the situation, and how you explain their differences, as well as how teachers and administrators react. I've been very lucky in that regard. My town is the most progressive small town (sandwiched between many cities) I've ever seen.

My oldest daughter was one of the class-leader types in elementary, and hasn't had too many hassles in JHS. She's even 1st string on the Bball team. She does, however, hate going into the convenience store with me at night when there are young men hanging around. The way they stare causes her to stay in the car.

My older son has been teased some, but hardly ever about being "half"*. Just the usual bullshit that boys toss around. The other two haven't had much, either.

But when we go shopping, they always hear the comments of "ハーフかわいいなぁ。ほしいぃ" My younger daughter always asks me if she's really cute (ever being the good father, I, of course, say "No! That idiot is blind as a bat, can't you see the coke-bottle glasses?" While tempting when my imp sits on my shoulder, I've always resisted...).

Regarding school: there was a study in the '90s which said that the best education was to put your children into a Japanese elementary school, where they would learn proper study habits, good math skills and team work. Then send them Stateside for JHS and HS, where they would have the opportunity to try for AP classes or other learning which would allow them to follow their strengths and interests, without all the sempai/kohai bullshit and its accompanying bullying. Did you know that all Japanese HS seniors study calculus? Even those who can't count how many shoe laces they have?

The recommendation for University was either the US or selected British/overseas institutions (still can't beat Oxford or Cambridge, can you?). Japanese universities, while a cast-iron bitch to get into, will, with the exception of places like Todai, graduate anyone who walks through the doors. US universities are the opposite, flunking out approximately 50% of any freshman class before graduation (either grades or money woes, the end result is the same). You earn your degree.

You'll notice, btw, that most Japanese head overseas for their post-grad studies?

*ハーフ Half - Being from the Colorado mountains and growing up with a fair number of Native American friends, I really despise this term. To me, it still carries its original meaning of fitting into neither world, not a real person, just half a person.

[Black Dog]

Can you write in Vietnamese ?

My friend Speaks English, Vietnamese and Cantonese, but he can only write in English. However, speaking wise, he said his vietnamese and English are at the same level. His Cantonese, he just uses to speak to his Canadian Chinese friends, but he has alittle trouble understanding Cantonese music and movies.

My Dad is French/English, but he never spoke French at home, becuase my Grandmother only had a GD 4 education and used alot of slang as a result.My English family is Unversity educated. and my English family wanted to make sure the children would learn English,as the French learning might of got in the way. He can speak at a tourist level. Just enought to get around France.

If your children grow up in Japan, than their primary language will be Japanese unless you take great strides to counter it!

[Danistar]

If your children grow up in Japan, than their primary language will be Japanese unless you take great strides to counter it!
If they live in Japan, then their primary language should be Japanese, and not be countered.

[Digital Masta]

If they live in Japan, then their primary language should be Japanese, and not be countered.

Indeed the language they primarily speak would be Japanese BUT it is possible for them to have 2 native languages, not have one be their 2nd language (as in learned after their native).

[Chrome Newfie]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Culture_Kids

Thought this might be interesting.

[sOkU]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Culture_Kids

Thought this might be interesting.

I'm one of those tck's. They're (we're?) kinda elitist though. It's annoying.

I used to hang out with all tck's (mainly because they were all mixed) but alot are suprisingly narrow minded.

rameek - Yeah, my nephew and neice had a similar issue. They understood english perfectly they'd always just answer in Japanese because it was easier.
Your kids are adorable.

As for the whole prejudice thing, as far as I know, my neice and nephew havent' really experienced too much negative being mixed in Japan. They got the occasional "Oh, look it's a gaijin!" from other kids, and "KKKKKKKaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiii" from teenage girls, but that's about it.

As a matter of fact they are quite popular at school with teachers and students. Guess it has to do with living in Yokohama??

[ZaichikArky]

Did you know that all Japanese HS seniors study calculus? Even those who can't count how many shoe laces they have?

I think I already knew that. I also don't think it's so much of a big deal because beginners calculus is basically just advanced algebra taken up a slight notch. But then again, I am really biased because I took it in a complete lamebrain setting: in a class with 300+ students my second quarter in college. I didn't do shit, got a C and moved on. I *think* all I remember is this word called "derivative". No joking >_>;

[dzee]

i tried to give up on mathematics as a whole and had to see my dean :box:

.. so i'm not very surprised about all Japanese HS seniors having to study calculus. Asian educational institutions place quite a bit of emphasis on mathematics and science -- it's seen as one of the things that give us an edge when applying to overseas tertiary institutions.

whether it really is, however, is another question, of course :knockout:

[Digital Masta]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Culture_Kids

Thought this might be interesting.

But mixed kids who are say half Japanese and half black/white,etc and they spend time in mostly America and Japan aren't TCKs, because both cultures are their own. If they moved to say...England then they'd become TCKs. Interesting nontheless

http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y22...t=PIC_0223.jpg

http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y22...t=PIC_0273.jpg

Ya know, genes really are a funny thing because my brother is white compared to your kids and I was lighter than both of your kids when I was around that age yet we both have black parents. Of course this doesn't account for whatever ancestry my family has.

yeahh halflings are hot! I know a girl who's half Japanese half Australian. And she's really beautiful!(green eyes, freckles, brown wavey hair)

Green eyes...that's interesting...guess someone on her Japanese side of the family wasn't japanese.


Also, not all of the half asian/half (insert here) are cute...just look at Becky.

[stsparky]

Xmas cheer happily donated!

As to kids - we hear all sorts of things. Good stuff is nice, nasty anger gets the look.

[ミュー]

Az, you need to put your kid in a Japanese middle school if you want them to be functionally bilingual. Remember that most of the hard Kanji (hardest part for Japanese people who leave Japan in childhood) is learned in JHS. Your child will not be functional in Japanese if they don't spend Elementary and JHS in Japan. I know kids that spent only elementary school in Japan and they're having to learn Japanese all over again because they don't remember the Kanji or writing.

*for kids that go to international high school in Tokyo, they usually have the choice to learn high school Kanji and old-style writing in a Juku and go to college in Japan, or take the SAT/IB and go to an international university.

[ZaichikArky]

>_>; what do you mean "functionally bilingual". I never went to school in the USSR unless you count pre school and I think I am *very* functionally bilingual. That is to say, I have an American accent, my grammar is often horrible and I'm fairly illiterate(though I do know how to read, not write though)That is bullshit. Being bilingual has nothing to do with school and everything to do with parents. If az and his future wife would be the "type A" parents, their kids would be having private japanese lessons in the states so they brush up on their kanjis.

[Digital Masta]

Az, you need to put your kid in a Japanese middle school if you want them to be functionally bilingual. Remember that most of the hard Kanji (hardest part for Japanese people who leave Japan in childhood) is learned in JHS. Your child will not be functional in Japanese if they don't spend Elementary and JHS in Japan. I know kids that spent only elementary school in Japan and they're having to learn Japanese all over again because they don't remember the Kanji or writing.
.

If anything they'd still be fluent speakers and could probably learn whatever kanji they need to through classes in the states...POSSIBLY.

[jindojim]

I sort of want to send my kids to elementary school in Japan just so they can wear those cute yellow safari hats (or whatever they are).
http://my.noevirstyle.jp/50700798/img/245/SU1HXzIwMTcI4g.JPG

I know I definitely want my kids speaking some sort of language besides English. But, there's an interest clash between my heritage and my future wife's heritage. Ideally, they'd be trilingual with English as their primary language and capable of speaking Korean and Japanese as well. However, that seems like an overload (although I can see myself being a pushy father and overworking them :P). I'm more in favor of them speaking Korean, but I'm sure my future wife would disagree...haha. Or, another thought would be to have the boys learn Korean and the girls learn Japanese (but I think Roxie would protest to that :P)

As for how a half-Japanese half Korean-American would look like...well...I think it will work out very well if I go off of the only example that appears when I search that in google.
http://www.jmusicworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/yuna-ito.jpg

[Digital Masta]

Just for the record...during the summer while I was doing the camp we had this special IBM camp where the employees of IBM Japan and IBM Korea sent their kids to our camp.

There was one kid, he was 9 years old that came from Korea, he had a Korean name but his mother was Japanese (living in Korea, his father is clearly Korean).

This kid could speak Korean, Japanese and he could express himself pretty damn well in English. Personally (and other counselors agreed) I think that this kid is going to be something special (there were things other than his language ability that led us to this conclusion).

Oh it can be done.

Hell I plan on getting my kids involved in another language when they are quite young (and this is even if their mother speaks another language natively meaning they are getting 2 at home already)...oh they may hate me for it when they are young but when they can speak various languages they'll get over it...MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!

As for how a half-Japanese half Korean-American would look like...well...I think it will work out very well if I go off of the only example that appears when I search that in google.

See the one thing about asian and asian mix...they're still asian (not that they all look the same). I know a girl that's half Chinese, half Japanese, she looks Japanese, although I've seen a pic of her sister and she looks more Chinese than Japanese.

[RoxFontaine]

This thread is hilarious.

[ZaichikArky]

^ <3.

Also, yes trilingual is an overload. Anecdote time.

I used to know this girl who came from China to the states at a young age. She was so confused about the whole change and situation that for several months when she was a kid, she developed this problem where she couldn't speak at *all* neither Chinese nor English.

My mom traumatized me into learning English. This is what my dad tells me. My mom was always a very interesting parent.

Mom: I WANT YOU TO SAY THE RHYME.
Me: *cri*
Mom: *batshit*
Me: I don't care about Willys or not Willys I hate you and I hate this stupid rhyme!!!!!!!

BTW it went like this:

"Why Willy why Willy why do you cry? Why Willy why Willy why Willy why?"

I swear, sometimes it's just better to wait to have children until you're in your 30s :p. It saves you from going batshit at a young age.

However, I guess her superb parenting techniques worked, not only did I turn out to be a PERFECT ADD child, but also I was about to stop doing ESL after only 2 years.

[Digital Masta]

Also, yes trilingual is an overload

I don't think it's overload per say but I think it all depends on the situation. If I was fluent in two languages by say 11-12 (or before) it might not be so out of my reach to try for a 3rd one.

[ZaichikArky]

Yeah, but it's usually better for a kid to decide on their own if they wanna be trilingual. My mom decided this for me when I was 14. Then I switched to Japanese on my own at age ~15, and I soon figured out that 4 languages was too much for me to handle(and some people can handle it) so I ditched French.

[jindojim]

See the one thing about asian and asian mix...they're still asian (not that they all look the same). I know a girl that's half Chinese, half Japanese, she looks Japanese, although I've seen a pic of her sister and she looks more Chinese than Japanese.
You make it sound like remaining Asian is a boring thing. Besides, I don't think being half-Japanese half-nonAsian makes kids automatically more beautiful, as it seem like it's the impression here. That's like believing my daughter would look like Yuna Ito just because she would also be half-Japanese half-Korean-American.

On another note, my fiancee's mother has specifically discouraged my fiancee from marrying a black guy. I stress that it is NOT because she has anything against them. But, she just doesn't want her kids to be seen as outsiders in Japan. It's possible for some mixed white and Japanese to look ethnically Japanese, but it seems much more difficult for mixed black and Japanese to pass as ethnically Japanese. Also, she used to work as a kindergarten teacher and has seen firsthand how much mixed black and Japanese kids get teased. I'm sure she'd hate for her grandkids to experience that.

[Digital Masta]

You make it sound like remaining Asian is a boring thing. Besides, I don't think being half-Japanese half-nonAsian makes kids automatically more beautiful, as it seem like it's the impression here. That's like believing my daughter would look like Yuna Ito just because she would also be half-Japanese half-Korean-American.

On another note, my fiancee's mother has specifically discouraged my fiancee from marrying a black guy. I stress that it is NOT because she has anything against them. But, she just doesn't want her kids to be seen as outsiders in Japan. It's possible for some mixed white and Japanese to look ethnically Japanese, but it seems much more difficult for mixed black and Japanese to pass as ethnically Japanese. Also, she used to work as a kindergarten teacher and has seen firsthand how much mixed black and Japanese kids get teased. I'm sure she'd hate for her grandkids to experience that.

What I was saying has nothing to do with one being more good looking than the other.

You're the one saying that, not me.

Maybe I should clarify.

Basically what I was getting at is what you pretty much just said. Your kids unless someone knows their names (assuming they have your last name) can probably pass for ethnically Japanese and ethnically Korean.

Basically you wouldn't be able to tell just by looking at them that they korean & Japanese.

I also don't think it's a matter of "seeming" to look ethnically Japanese for kids who are black/japanese...simply put they can't. Unless their black parent has an interesting family history.

[ZaichikArky]

you know, those kids someone posted, they basically look like tan japanese kids. And some japanese kids are really tan if they enjoy playing in the sun. So I think that they don't look *that* different. Also, at best they might be confused for half Filipino kids, and that might be more acceptable... depends on who you talk to.

[Digital Masta]

Which ones...Soku's niece and nephew? They have a black grandparent so they are a weeee bit more Japanese.

[ミュー]

The people thinking that I don't know about what being 'bilingual' in Japan means need to understand that a great deal of my friends studied overseas during various points in the education process, and there is a significant gap between the ones who went to Japanese middle school and those who didn't. Japanese will not accept someone who can't speak essentially perfect; Americans are far less picky because of the difference in cultures.

Example:
Friend who was Japanese and was in Japan until elementary:
- doesn't speak a lick of Japanese
Friend who was in Canada JHS - SHS
- speaks conversational Japanese, but forgot how to write and all of the Kanji
Friend who was in America SHS
- speaking is fine, but still has to take special classes to improve Kanji etc
Friend who never studied abroad, went to Intl. SHS in Tokyo
- Speaks perfect Japanese and really good English

[ZaichikArky]

I meant to say rameeks.

Myuu, I don't really agree, but maybe I get what you're saying. Besides, Az made it clear that he doesn't want his kids in Japanese JHS. I wouldn't either. I wouldn't want to put my kids though hell and torture when they're still kids.They have the rest of their lives to do that to themselves.

Are you aware that now it's gotten increasingly common to send kids as young as 4th graders to juku? Not to mention why I ask my JHS kids why they're in juku and they say "to study" and don't know how to explain any further why they spend ~8 hours a week in juku.

Maybe that's beside the point. My point is that if the parents want their kids to know Japanese well, they will force them to study their kanjis one way or another, and when their kids get old enough, they make the decision to either stop studying kanji or continue it. It's that simple...

[RoxFontaine]

You make it sound like remaining Asian is a boring thing. Besides, I don't think being half-Japanese half-nonAsian makes kids automatically more beautiful, as it seem like it's the impression here. That's like believing my daughter would look like Yuna Ito just because she would also be half-Japanese half-Korean-American.

On another note, my fiancee's mother has specifically discouraged my fiancee from marrying a black guy. I stress that it is NOT because she has anything against them. But, she just doesn't want her kids to be seen as outsiders in Japan. It's possible for some mixed white and Japanese to look ethnically Japanese, but it seems much more difficult for mixed black and Japanese to pass as ethnically Japanese. Also, she used to work as a kindergarten teacher and has seen firsthand how much mixed black and Japanese kids get teased. I'm sure she'd hate for her grandkids to experience that.

Fuzzy logic? Yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

[I Monkey]

Can you write in Vietnamese ?

My friend Speaks English, Vietnamese and Cantonese, but he can only write in English. However, speaking wise, he said his vietnamese and English are at the same level. His Cantonese, he just uses to speak to his Canadian Chinese friends, but he has alittle trouble understanding Cantonese music and movies.

My Dad is French/English, but he never spoke French at home, becuase my Grandmother only had a GD 4 education and used alot of slang as a result.My English family is Unversity educated. and my English family wanted to make sure the children would learn English,as the French learning might of got in the way. He can speak at a tourist level. Just enought to get around France.

If your children grow up in Japan, than their primary language will be Japanese unless you take great strides to counter it!

Yeah I can write and read Vietnamese thanks to the private classes I had.

I used to be able to speak 5 languages(Vietnamese, English, Dutch, German and Japanese). I learned German on Dutch HS but since I never speak German anymore, I forgot most of it(I do understand it though). My Japanese sucks too since I have no time to practice and I don't have anyone to talk Japanese to anymore. :(

TV is very important too! I learned most of my English from TV(Transformers, Thundercats, He-man, COPS etc. :P:P). English audio - Dutch subtitles. It especially helps the pronunciation. My classmates in Dutch HS who suck at English are the ones who didn't watch those "English spoken cartoons/programmes". Most cartoons nowadays are all Dutch audio and you can really see/hear that the new generation kinda sucks at English.

If I'll have kids, I really want them to be able to speak Vietnamese. But I don't think that'll be possible since my Vietnamese isn't as good as a native. Or I'll have to move to Vietnam but I don't want to do that.(Vietnamese people in Vietnam love to swindle foreigners, and if you're a "Vietnamese foreigner"( called "Viet kieu" by natives) they'll always see it)

to Digital Masta: Yeah I guess het father has a gene for light colored eyes too. She lived in Japan till her 6th and then moved to America. She isn't able to speak Japanese anymore though... Her father decided to raise her in English. So now she can only speak Dutch and English. She really regrets it. So people! Raise your "halflings" in a biligual environment!

[Digital Masta]

Fuzzy logic? Yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

I always raise the eyebrow to the whole "it's because your kids will get teased" arguement for not letting your kids date/marry a person of a particular ethnic background other than your own.

[jindojim]

What I was saying has nothing to do with one being more good looking than the other.

You're the one saying that, not me.
Hmm...I just got the impression that remaining Asian was sort of boring to you. Especially when you mention "the wonders of black n' asian" in a previous post. Besides, it's not just you, but from other comments, it seems like people have this idea that mixing Asian with non-Asian automatically equals beautiful. Which isn't always the case.

Rox: You should probably realize that she has nothing against blacks first of all. They did live in Africa for a time. That being said, I can see where the fuzzy logic comes in. But, I want to assure you that if her daughter were marrying a black guy, she would want them to be fully aware of how tough it would be to raise their kid in Japan.

[Digital Masta]

Hmm...I just got the impression that remaining Asian was sort of boring to you. Especially when you mention "the wonders of black n' asian" in a previous post. Besides, it's not just you, but from other comments, it seems like people have this idea that mixing Asian with non-Asian automatically equals beautiful. Which isn't always the case.

Like I said in a previous post...look at Becky. Not the most attractive girl.


Rox: You should probably realize that she has nothing against blacks first of all. They did live in Africa for a time. That being said, I can see where the fuzzy logic comes in. But, I want to assure you that if her daughter were marrying a black guy, she would want them to be fully aware of how tough it would be to raise their kid in Japan.


I get that but to say that she forbid her from it for that reason alone is still it a little bit fishy. It's the same logic that people in states used to use (and some probably still do) about white and black people having a kid.

[jindojim]

I get that but to say that she forbid her from it for that reason alone is still it a little bit fishy. It's the same logic that people in states used to use (and some probably still do) about white and black people having a kid.

She didn't "forbid" her...just discourage her. And besides, knowing the person that she is, if she actually didn't like blacks, she wouldn't be telling her daughter, in private, that it would be hard for the kids if she married a black guy. She'd probably say something more explicit. It's not like it's a public statement she made, so why would she need to pick her words? It's just an honest concern I think of hers because she knows that it's tough for mixed kids to grow up in Japan.

Anyway, whatever. I'm glad her daughter's not marrying a black guy because then she wouldn't be marrying me :P

[Digital Masta]

You plan on moving back to Japan at any point to test the Korean/Japanese mix issues. I'd think there are issues with that too in Japan.

[jindojim]

Ok, as far as the kids go...

Personally, I would let them go to school in Japan up until elementary. The reason being I was a JHS teacher and...no. Just, no. Do not want to subject my kids to JHS in Japan. So the kids would live in Japan up until I dunno, maybe 8-10 years old? They would only speak English at home, but then every other time, of course, would be Japanese.

Then we'd go to America for their JHS/HS schooling. They would only speak Japanese at home, and then of course English everywhere else. During the summer they could go visit their grandmom in Kyoto and stay with her for a month or two. Ideally, we'd have a second home in Japan, but...yeah, I'm having enough problems keeping up with rent on ONE place, so I'm not thinking about two at the moment.

Personally, I would like to see the kid(s) do college in America, I just think American colleges are better and more well-rounded. What he or she does after that would be up to them. Aside from being bilingual, I'd hope to have them educated about both American and Japanese cultures.

I don't mean to sound discouraging...but...your plan sounds very expensive. You'd have to have mobility with your job, and it doesn't sound like you have that luxury right now. Plus, flying back and forth isn't cheap. I'm not saying it can't be done...but you'd need to put your kids before yourself and budget extremely wisely.

[Digital Masta]

He doesn't have kids now and isn't married now so the whole moving the kids to the states is probably anywhere from 10+ years from now. Plenty of time to get out of his current situation

It's not that expensive if they only fly back for summer, since it would be once a year. It would be one of those things that would have to go into the budget as an expense that you know you're going to have. Plus he'd probably be just sending the kids.


The 2nd home thing...now that would be expensive.

[jindojim]

The more time he spends in Japan though, the less easy it is for him to up and leave Japan for America just because he wants his kids to attend school there. I don't know anyway...to me it sounds like a luxury to send kids back and forth, since the only people I know who can afford to do that are at least quite well off to extremely rich.

As for your comment about if I had any plans to move back to Japan, my answer is no. I do not want to, nor will my intended profession allow me to (different laws and licensing regulations...plus there's no frickin way I could learn the Japanese to pass the board examination even if I could take it). However, if I did decide to let my kids grow up in Japan, I expect my kids would be treated like...a Korean with a Japanese passport. In other words, they'd be treated like a normal Japanese kid until they have to reveal their heritage. And, since parts of Saitama and parts of Tokyo have plenty of Koreans, I don't think they'll be too bad off. Maybe the occasional name calling, but that's just part of growing up as a minority.

[RoxFontaine]

Yeah, I can imagine her....

"Think of the children!"

Hahahahahahahaha.

Fuck outta here.

[jindojim]

Having cancer doesn't automatically give you the right to troll.

[Digital Masta]

The war has begun.


Ouch on that one though jim...that was little low.

[Black fist]

Wait Rox has cancer?

[jindojim]

No, I don't think it was low at all. People with cancer are still people and shouldn't be exempt from normal human courtesy.

[Azrael]

I agree with Jim. Only adding snide remarks to every topic you post in is not cool.

Anyway, I had dinner at a co-workers house this past weekend. He's Korean, married to a Japanese girl. They have a 5-month old baby girl. The girl is adorable, but it is still only 5 months. No real "this is what she's gonna look like" forcasts yet.

We actually talked about the education thing, and most of us - Japanese people included - felt that Japanese JHS has massive, massive problems. Bullying, of course, is a big issue. Not to mention the pressure of cram schools and studying for HS entrance exams. For me, the afterschool clubs are a huge sticking point. These things are literally 7 days a week. Holidays don't seem to matter much either. Everyone I talked to - teachers and students, hated having the clubs everyday, especially on the weekends. But it was always just one of those "we're Japanese so we can't change" things.

As a parent, I could forbid my kid from entering a club, and that would be one thing. But it also seemed like much of the inter-school politics - groups, cliques, and what not, were formed with the clubs as a basis. Forbiding my kids from doing the clubs would put them more on the outside than they already would be. Its a no-win situation.

Also, in 3 years of JHS service, I honestly didn't feel that the education the kids got was any better than the American counterpart. In some ways, worse.

For language, I figure if we could find a high school that offered Japanese, have the child enroll in that, or just make the extra effort at home.

[Decade]

Just wondering az, but where would you like your kids to actually be born?

Japan, or the states?

You can stick to your plan, but where you want them to have initial citizenship is important too.

[Azrael]

I'm thinking America. Obtaining a US citizenship afterwards seems like it would be a royal pain in the ass.

Though ultimately it would be the kid's choice, I want to make it so that it would be easy for them to choose their permanent life in America. Living here in Japan, I've sort of come to terms with the fact that I am an eternal outsider, but sometimes its still a little annoying. I can speak Japanese, I know the customs and little quirks, I know quite a bit about history, I can even make bad puns in Japanese. But I will always be an outsider just because of how I look. So there are times when it does irk me, and I'm full American. I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to always be treated like an outsider despite having Japanese blood flow through your veins.

[belladonna]

Az, wouldn't your children have duel citizenship since your girlfriend is Japanese? As I've heard from an American-born Japanese friend he has duel citizenship until he's 25. So either way they'll be both because you have American citizenship and she is Japanese, unless you become a Japanese citizen, right?

[Azrael]

Yeah, as far as I can tell, you get dual citizenship up to a point, then you have to choose.

[belladonna]

that's what i thought, but i wasn't quite sure

[ZaichikArky]

This is not old news. Rox has had cancer for a while. At least, he's had a mass for a while. I guess no one noticed? 0_o. Also, he's not so much trying to be a dick as he's finding opportunities to poke fun at this thread. Just because this forum is not exactly RWPW doesn't mean that sometimes it likes to slide into RWPW politics.

Az, Californian education is pretty shitty anyway, and your kids would probably be there, so they're better off spending elementary school in Japan. I am certain they would be WAY more rounded than Californian kids in the states.

[Digital Masta]

Yeah, as far as I can tell, you get dual citizenship up to a point, then you have to choose.


I thought it's been discussed many times on this forum that they don't ever REALLY have to choose, and that they can go on with dual citizenship for as long as they want so long as they don't get a job is say....government.

[Black Dog]

I thought it's been discussed many times on this forum that they don't ever REALLY have to choose, and that they can go on with dual citizenship for as long as they want so long as they don't get a job is say....government.

Why play with fire ? Better to just pick the one that is the most important. Germans have to make that choice, when they turn 18. One guy I know, picked Japanese citizenship, because it's easier to get Canadian citizenship, than a Japanese citizenship. He lives in Canada,but has a permanant residency.

[Black Dog]

If I marry the Japanese women I like, I would live Canada. I won't ever be able to get a decent job in Japan, if I could even live there and get a job.

[Azrael]

Az, Californian education is pretty shitty anyway
I turned out allright...

I thought it's been discussed many times on this forum that they don't ever REALLY have to choose, and that they can go on with dual citizenship for as long as they want so long as they don't get a job is say....government.
I have a friend now who has dual citizenship with Australia/Japan because he didn't choose. I was starting to type that out, but then I got lazy. :blank:

[Chrome Newfie]

This is true. Canadian citizenship - all the fun of being American, without having to be American. ;) Plus, I'm a little fuzzy on the current rules but this might give greater access to options as a British citizen if so desired, and the travel/immigration flexibilities of a Commonwealth citizen.

Come to the Dark Side, Az. We have cookies. ;)

[Pierrot le Fou]

First of all, I hope you have a girlfriend better looking than Becky DM, otherwise it seems a little odd to be criticizing how she looks when you haven't managed to do better.

Second of all, Myu is full of silliness. Kanji, reading, writing -- these are learned skills. If they learn to speak it natively, then picking up the reading and the writing, while taking time, can be done and then used as a native would. Stating that they won't remember their Japanese if they leave Japan prior to finishing their educating is silly in the same way people who have been in Japanese for 2 years say that they are 'forgetting their English'.

[RoxFontaine]

This is not old news. Rox has had cancer for a while. At least, he's had a mass for a while. I guess no one noticed? 0_o. Also, he's not so much trying to be a dick as he's finding opportunities to poke fun at this thread. Just because this forum is not exactly RWPW doesn't mean that sometimes it likes to slide into RWPW politics.

That's because I don't talk about it. I actually regret making the little comment earlier about it. The reason it was brought up before is because someone made an entirely insensitive comment about having cancer. Whatever.

I can't believe you two are pissed over that little comment. I guess PLF has exclusive rights to sarcasm here?

Pardon me for intruding on your little party. I'll excuse myself.

[Pierrot le Fou]

I guess PLF has exclusive rights to sarcasm here?
And don't you forget it!

[Digital Masta]

First of all, I hope you have a girlfriend better looking than Becky DM, otherwise it seems a little odd to be criticizing how she looks when you haven't managed to do better.

No...not odd at all.

[stefmaxlovesmika]

I'm thinking America. Obtaining a US citizenship afterwards seems like it would be a royal pain in the ass.

Though ultimately it would be the kid's choice, I want to make it so that it would be easy for them to choose their permanent life in America. Living here in Japan, I've sort of come to terms with the fact that I am an eternal outsider, but sometimes its still a little annoying. I can speak Japanese, I know the customs and little quirks, I know quite a bit about history, I can even make bad puns in Japanese. But I will always be an outsider just because of how I look. So there are times when it does irk me, and I'm full American. I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to always be treated like an outsider despite having Japanese blood flow through your veins.

Hey Azrael~ My fiancee and I have been thinking of the same issues. We plan to live in Japan for a few years once I graduate university. She was in the states for 6 months and we met roughly 3 weeks after her arrival. After that we dated and then became a couple. Our bond was very tight and after a while, we were basically living together as she went to school and as I went to school and work. We understood each other fully and we were always able to improve our language.

On October 15th she departed from Florida and headed back to Japan. It was a big hit to my heart but it was a strike I could endure. About 4 days before her departure, I proposed to her. It wasn't a classic proposal either.

We have spent many times talking about life and our future together. About having chibi-Stefans and chibi-Mikas running around. The vibe we gave off to each other was a total match. This led to the question coming up but it was the first time it has been brought up. We would sit and talk about life, our family, our future. Saying I love you in English was after our daisuki phase.

Now I am concentrating on school and work. She has graduated from her university and began working at her new office. We have some time but she is 26 and I am 22 I am trying my hardest to graduate early. The thought of having our children in the states is a good one. It gives them a choice of what they want to learn and as the parents, we can lead them in that direction. I would like them to be bilingual and respectful. I have had many conversations with some friends and they have many issues with the schooling system in Korean in Japan which worries me. If we do live in the states at the time of the arrival of sunshine, I will do my best to higher educate them and keep their studies up (Tutoring, honors classes, etc.)

I wasn't born in the U.S. but I too, hold the dual citizenship card with U.S. and Germany. I would not want my kids to go through the whole race issue because I know the pain that the ignorance can lead to. And as a parent, it would anger me incredibly.

[羽之助]

she is 26 and I am 22

:yes: :yes: :yes:

Chrome Newfie, older women beckon you ...

[Chrome Newfie]

:yes: :yes: :yes:

Chrome Newfie, older women beckon you ...

Heh. While I am not adverse to dating women within a rather wide range of ages both up and down, older than me starts pushing into the "no chance for kids" range (just turned seven and thirty). Medical miracles aside, I'd rather not have that decision made for me by biology, so it's a bit of a factor when taking a wife is considered.

On the plus side, there's a whole lot of younger than me that counts as marriageable, both by legality and in the sense of "emotionally ready to...". ;)

[Pierrot le Fou]

No...not odd at all.
Also, not all of the half asian/half (insert here) are cute...just look at Becky.Like I said in a previous post...look at Becky. Not the most attractive girl.
This is mind-boggling. While she's certainly not in my top 100 (or probably 1000), I'd be VERY hard pressed to say she's unattractive, or not cute. I mean, c'mon now. Not your type? Sure. Not a bombshell? Granted. But unattractive or not cute? That's just going to far.

If you wanted to point out ugly haafus, all you had to do was link to some photos of the Jenkins family.

[soulinhand]

I now live in Japan with my wife and daughter. We plan for her to go to elementary school in japan. I think its good to get a good foundation in japanese. Then I think we will go to the states because there are more opportunities for her there. Of course we will speak Japanese in the home to keep up her ability and be able to speak to her Japanese grandparents. Now we speak English at home so she can be bilingual. With kanji and so forth, she will go to classes to further her knowledge.
But who knows, things change. But for now I can say this is our plan. Whateva comes along I am sure we will act accordingly.

And enjoy the pics

[ZaichikArky]

^ I mean no offense, but is that your daughter? She's really cute. And the hello kitty motifs are too.

[Black Dog]

:yes: :yes: :yes:

Chrome Newfie, older women beckon you ...


OLDER WOMEN ARE AWESOME !!! My ex was 29 and I'm 24. We"re just friends now. Most the women around my age are too busy studying and I have nothing to offer them at all !

[Digital Masta]

This is mind-boggling. While she's certainly not in my top 100 (or probably 1000), I'd be VERY hard pressed to say she's unattractive, or not cute. I mean, c'mon now. Not your type? Sure. Not a bombshell? Granted. But unattractive or not cute? That's just going to far.

If you wanted to point out ugly haafus, all you had to do was link to some photos of the Jenkins family.


Okay, fine! She's not my type.

[soulinhand]

^ I mean no offense, but is that your daughter? She's really cute. And the hello kitty motifs are too.

yeah, thats my daugher. She is a cutie. I probably dont look like it but my moms is a mix of jamaican, german, and chinese. My father is trinidadian with East Indian heritage. And I am interested to know why you where surprised to believe that this pretty girl is my daughter?

[Pierrot le Fou]

yeah, thats my daugher. She is a cutie. I probably dont look like it but my moms is a mix of jamaican, german, and chinese. My father is trinidadian with East Indian heritage. And I am interested to know why you where surprised to believe that this pretty girl is my daughter?
Because she isn't shaking like she's having a caesar?

[SlickWilly440]

I thought it's been discussed many times on this forum that they don't ever REALLY have to choose, and that they can go on with dual citizenship for as long as they want so long as they don't get a job is say....government.

Yeah here (http://www.outpostnine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7105&highlight=dual+citizenship) is the thread where I inquired about this.

Just have to make sure that child/children have their name in the the Japanese Family Registry (koseki).

[stefmaxlovesmika]

Because she isn't shaking like she's having a caesar?

We don't get it. Please explain.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Back in the day, soulinhand once wrote:
there is no need for an arguement. the girls i have been with beg me to do it. so my way is my way, maybe not the best for you. so like i said every woman is different. and i have to stop, because i will get lock jaw, it used to be bad. my right jaw dislocates all the time, so if i dont stop it hurts bad as hell and i know an orgasm when i see one. haha, actually its funny. you shake like you are having a ceasar, and dont want to be touched. i grin,because i know i have done a good job. and for me, only me. never nutted off head, never had a deap throat. but its fun for foreplay. so no arguements, different things work for different people. and that is that.
And I never let him forget it.

[Black Dog]

Dining at the Y ?

[mikem]

I turned out allright...


Interesting. So did the 15,000 Japanese kids that I go to college with everyday. Funny how justification works.

Myu, much love for your posts because I'm in the same situation and based on my experiences with similar people I agree with you. However, it seems like in this thread the experiences, thoughts and feelings of the actual children are secondary to the wishes of the parents.

:clap:

[Kyletherealninja]

Who on earth is Becky?

[aargon]

I now live in Japan with my wife and daughter. We plan for her to go to elementary school in japan. I think its good to get a good foundation in japanese. Then I think we will go to the states because there are more opportunities for her there. Of course we will speak Japanese in the home to keep up her ability and be able to speak to her Japanese grandparents. Now we speak English at home so she can be bilingual. With kanji and so forth, she will go to classes to further her knowledge.
But who knows, things change. But for now I can say this is our plan. Whateva comes along I am sure we will act accordingly.

And enjoy the pics

That is one cute baby! you sure its yours?
________
medical marijuana card (http://mmjp.org)

[soulinhand]

yeah, I am most definitely sure. She has blond tips just like my aunt. I also had a few strands of blond hair. Also she has my eyebrows and butt. So yeah, I am 100% sure. She is my joy. I know when she gets older I am going to suffer. She will be attractive and that will have me up with many sleepless nights.:boggled: :bang:

[Pierrot le Fou]

A talent.

photos (http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=%E3%83%99%E3%83%83%E3%82%AD%E3%83%BC&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2)

[belladonna]

A talent.

photos (http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=%E3%83%99%E3%83%83%E3%82%AD%E3%83%BC&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2)
she's adorable.... it's like how a lot of people say that alissa durbrow is ugly... she's pretty, just in a different way

[Kyletherealninja]

See, I love that look. I can't understand anyone thinking that's ugly.

[sOkU]

See, I love that look. I can't understand anyone thinking that's ugly.

They probably just have taste. :watson:

[Pierrot le Fou]

There are plenty of ugly women in this world (and obviously men too). Becky is not one of them. She may not be your type, or may not have that special something you look for in a famous woman, but for God's sake, she's far from ugly. Calling someone who's not your type ugly is really really really petty and self-centered.

But it's all good, more 'ugly' women left for me.

[SlickWilly440]

But it's all good, more 'ugly' women left for me.

An a lot more paper bags to cover up their face.

[belladonna]

An a lot more paper bags to cover up their face.
well that's just rude!


she has a really adorable smile and really pretty eyes, i wish i had light eyes

[SlickWilly440]

An a lot more paper bags to cover up their face.well that's just rude!

How about this one: "A hot blind chick is every ugly man's dream come true."

[Masa the Masta]

I speak both English and Spanish. My parents are mainly Spanish speakers, but understand English perfectly and speak it well enough to communicate with anyone.

What I'm curious about is, hypothetically if I were to have kids with a Japanese female, would I teach them Spanish? I might just for shits and giggles.

[Digital Masta]

I speak both English and Spanish. My parents are mainly Spanish speakers, but understand English perfectly and speak it well enough to communicate with anyone.

What I'm curious about is, hypothetically if I were to have kids with a Japanese female, would I teach them Spanish? I might just for shits and giggles.

Seeing as grandma and grandpa mostly speak Spanish I'd think you'd have to.